We got another negative pregnancy test today, and I found it easy to feel negativity about it.
to the temple in hopes of finding some clarity and peace.
Although I didn’t get a loud-and-clear answer that yes, there’s one more! And he’s comin’ soon!
Maybe I felt a soft whisper version of that.
And I realized something.
Sometimes, answers don’t come as clarity or confirmation.
Sometimes, the answer itself doesn’t come at all.
I remember when 30 sounded old.
When it was my turn to turn the big 3-0 , I was a little sad to leave those 20s in my past.
But now that I’ve been in the Land of the 30-Somethings for a few years, I’ve decided I really like it here.
Like, more than any other decade of ages I’ve dwelt in.
30s are the new 20s, I say.
A few things that have me thinking I’ll stick around for awhile (or at least for, I don’t know, seven more years or so):
A letter to my children:
Maybe when you get a little older, you’ll start noticing my imperfections.
Maybe you’ll wonder why I get so impatient with you sometimes.
Why sometimes I’m too tired to make a fancy meal or read one more book.
Maybe you’ll start to see where I fall short as a mother, as a wife, as a sister, friend, a would-be follower of Christ.
But maybe you’ll also see me trying.
Trying to show you my love for each of you, individually—a love that is so expansive that it overwhelms me sometimes. And gives me anxiety. Fear that something should ever happen to you.
Maybe you’ll see me trying to feed you wholesome foods and saying no to the sucker because you already had an ice cream cone that day. Maybe you’ll thank me for it someday?
Maybe you’ll look back and realize that all those chores and all that homework I made you do was to help you learn to work and to progress.
Maybe, when you have a child of your own, you’ll realize how tired I was waking up with you night after night, tending to your needs day after day.
Maybe you’ll feel that overwhelming love for your own child and cry as you realize that’s how I love you, too. How I’ll always love you.
Maybe then, you’ll forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made and continue to make as your mother.
We’re pretty giddy about watching the solar phenomenon today.
We’ll be in Utah, where the moon will block 91% of the sun.
Here’s a playlist I made to help your eclipse-watching be even more epic. Pretty over the moon about it. Or should I say over the sun?
Sometimes it can be hard to get a busybody boy to sit still long enough to enjoy a book. These are some tried and tested favorites around here. My little guy asks for these ones again and again. Bonus: Most of these are around five bucks.
One of the perks of marrying into Clay’s family is their annual Lake Powell trip.
I have immense respect for the men and women who fight for our country and the families who support them. I’m so proud of my own brother, who served as a medic in Afghanistan. I know what a sacrifice it was for my sister-in-law and her four children to live apart from my brother and worry about his safety.
Brunchettes | K.C. Film & Photo
Brunchettes is a place where women can feel comfortable being their real selves and talking about the things that aren’t picture perfect in their lives.
I get it. You think they talk too fast. You think it’s unrealistic. Or boring. You don’t see what all the hype is about.
Jack and Lola Photography
This article was first published on UtahValley360.com and LDSLiving.com.
Being a mom requires a lot. By the end of the day, I feel like I’ve been tugged on, sucked from and sneezed on so many times that I just want to scream “give me some space!” Sometimes I do.