We got another negative pregnancy test today, and I found it easy to feel negativity about it.
We went to the temple in hopes of finding some clarity and peace.
Although I didn’t get a loud-and-clear answer that yes, there’s one more! And he’s comin’ soon!
Maybe I felt a soft whisper version of that.
And I realized something.
Sometimes, answers don’t come as clarity or confirmation.
Sometimes, the answer itself doesn’t come at all.
Instead, God sends a sense of calm.
A godly admonition to chill a little. Because He’s got this.
Tonight, I didn’t get the answer I went in for.
But I got perspective.
And permission to stop worrying about the future. To just enjoy all I have right now.
Everything will fall in place how it will.
I feel like I need to stop expending energy on the things I can’t control and instead hand those over to God while I focus on other important things I do have influence over.
Tonight, I also got strength—that intangible, but very real sense of power that stays with you when you walk out of the temple doors. Strength to keep going a little longer. At least until the next time I need Him to pat me on the back and say, “I’ve gotcha,” as I say to my little baby when she falls down and cries. She repeats “I’ve gotcha” back to me in her sweet little voice, and everything is OK again.